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9 Best Self-Help Books | Best Books That Change Your Life
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I've read a lot of self-help books. Some of them are great, and some of them are not so. Some I couldn't get through the first paragraph and others had me hanging onto every last word.
Today, I want to talk about those few
books that made a difference. These are nine self-help books that
changed my life.
More on them later. All right, so I intentionally
wanted to pick a range of books that have helped me with many different areas
in my life.
So we're gonna be talking about
business, money, health, sex, that's right, we're going there. But first I
wanna start off with a lighter topic, death.
"No Death, No Fear" by Thich Nhat Hanh
"No Death, No Fear" is a wake-up call to everyone who's been letting anxieties, fears and worries control
their life.
In the book, Thich Nhat Hanh explores
death, impermanence, and our never-ending search for happiness through his Buddhist teachings.
In the book, he writes, "There is
no way to happiness. Happiness is the way."
So I read this book in my final year of
college and it was really just an exciting period of my life. I had all of
these hopes and dreams for what my life could become, and yet at the same time,
I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrified about the future.
What if I never get a job?
What if I couldn't pay the bills?
What if I'm in debt until my 40s or
50s?
Thich Nhat Hanh's writing helped me to
see that happiness and contentment couldn't be found on the other side of these
questions. Instead, they needed to be found in the present moment by freeing
me of regret, fear, anxiety, and doubt.
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"No Death, No Fear" by Thich Nhat Hanh
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"The Definitive Book of Body Language" by Barbara and Allan
Pease
As Barbara and Allan Pease explain in the book, "Body Language is an outward reflection of a person's emotional condition."
Your date might be patting your back during
a hug because they're uncomfortable.
Your client's feet might be turned
towards the door because they're hoping to get out of a conversation.
Your partner might have their arms
crossed because they're pissed at you, but it's not as simple as just reading
one gesture and jumping to a conclusion about what someone's feeling.
As the authors explain, "Body
language is like any other language. It's only when you put a word into a
sentence with other words that you can fully understand its meaning."
So maybe your partner isn't actually
pissed at you and she's just cold because she left her jacket at home.
On second thought, she's probably
pissed at you. In the weeks after reading this book, I couldn't help but be
hyper-aware of my own body language. When I was nervous, I'd bite my nails. When
I was frustrated, I'd pace back and forth. When I was angry, I'd furrow my
eyebrows.
I may have been trying to hide my
emotions, but it turned out that I was saying a lot
without saying anything at all. From
high-stakes pitches to first dates, the things that I've learned about body
language have made a huge difference in my life.
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"She Comes First" by Ian Kerner
Yes, I read books about how to have sex, and
no, there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I think the bigger problem is
that most guys are too proud or too full of themselves to think they might
actually need a little bit of guidance when it comes to the bedroom.
And let me tell you, it's harder than it
looks. That's what she said. The advice in the title is definitely something
you should remember for life, "She Comes First." But apart from those
three very helpful words, the book also questions the idea that sex requires
intercourse.
Apparently, it doesn't. And when you
focus on other areas, mainly oral sex, you can have a deeper, more intimate
relationship with your partner.
What do you think of me reading books about
how to have better sex?
- Oh, I would highly recommend it.
I think more guys should be reading
books about better sex.
I think it's...
Look how coy you are, you look so proud
of yourself.
- I think probably one of the most
important things that we've done early on when it came to our sex life is open
communication.
- I was gonna say the same, but I think you only felt good about doing that because you had read books.
So you, like, you were coming in from
an informed stance that was like, I wanna learn about this.
Let's talk about it. Like how did that feel for you? Because at the end of the day, we all have different preferences. So to assume that everyone likes the same thing is just dead wrong. - Yeah.
- That struck me as you being very
emotionally mature.
- And by the way, if you're looking to
further your studies about this topic, then you may be interested in the book
"Slow Sex" by Nicole Daedone.
It's another great book that helps us to rewire and relearn many of the unhealthy views and habits we have with sex, as well as providing a slower approach that's often much more satisfying for all parties involved. Okay, moving along.
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"The Obstacle Is The Way" by Ryan Holiday
Ryan Holiday is somebody that I deeply
admire for his ability to turn ancient wisdom into tangible teachings for
modern life. "The Obstacle Is The Way" is a masterclass in stoicism, the
school of thought that's about cultivating virtue, mastery and self-control to
live a better life. The central theme of this book is that obstacles in life
are inevitable.
You'll graduate with an insane amount
of student debt. You'll get turned down for your dream job. You'll face
literally hundreds of rejections when you start dating. All three of these
things, by the way, happened to me. But when you embrace these obstacles
and you realize that they're unavoidable, you can start to develop a healthier relationship with the problems that you face in your life.
Ryan writes, "The obstacle in the
path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to
improve our condition."
This book will completely change the
way you think about personal and professional challenges, and it might even get
you to stop whining so much.
All of us will thank you for it.
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"Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr Claire Weekes
So I actually first learned about this
book from a comment on one of my videos.
I published a video about my
struggles with anxiety a few years ago. And as I was reading through the
comments, which were amazing and just so supportive, I stumbled across somebody
recommending this book from Dr Claire Weekes.
I bought the book, I read it and it had
a significant impact on my ability to cope with my anxieties.
In the book, Claire explores how you
can use gentle exposure therapy to build your tolerance for stressful
situations. She writes, "Strength is not born from strength. Strength can
only be born from weakness. So be glad of your weaknesses now,
they are the beginnings of your strength." The biggest takeaway that I got from the book was to learn how to float through my anxieties rather than fight the waves of my emotions.
This approach is really all about
letting the anxiety wash over you until it passes. This book is an empowering,
hope-filled read for anyone who struggles with or is supporting a loved one
through anxiety. If that's you, you should definitely add it to your reading
list.
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"Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robbins
I
feel like with a title like that, you just need to really bring the energy, you
know? Maybe not. Tony Robbins, his book "Awaken the Giant Within" was
one of the first self-help books that I ever read when I was living in my
parents' basement just after college. Even though the book was a bit corny and
I felt a little bit embarrassed to read it, it provided me with so many useful
tools and insights as I was trying my best to become an adult
and a professional filmmaker.
One of the key things I still remember
from the book is the power of decisions.
"You must know that at any moment
a decision you make can change the course of your life forever."
So many of us get paralyzed by choice. We
put off important decisions because we don't wanna make the wrong one, but we
can only get better at decisions by making lots of them.
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"I will Teach You to be Rich" by Ramit Sethi
This is really a guidebook to building personal wealth. It covers everything from earning, saving and budgeting, to investing and automating your finances. It doesn't give a prescriptive one-size-fits-all roadmap. Instead, Ramit's approach very much overlaps with my own minimalist philosophies.
He urges us to spend extravagantly on the things that we love and cut costs mercilessly on the things we don't. Forget about what everyone on Instagram is saying you absolutely need to have.
When it comes to how you spend your money, it's so important for you to figure out what you want. As Ramit says, you need to identify what a rich life looks like to you. And chances are it won't include flashy cars, multiple houses and a walk-in wardrobe that's bigger than my house.
The road to financial wealth isn't something that can happen by the end of your 20s, let alone by the time you read a 200-page book. And that's why everyone should commit to reading one personal finance book every year. And if you haven't read one this year, let this one be it.
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"Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World" by Cal Newport
"Deep Work" is an essential
read for ambitious creators looking to find more space for their meaningful
work. As Cal puts it, "The ability to perform deep work is becoming
increasingly rare.
At exactly the same time, it is
becoming increasingly valuable in our economy. As a consequence, the few who
cultivate this skill and then make it the core of their working life will
thrive." When we can methodically learn to shut off distractions and wean
ourselves off of our addiction to technology, we can find our most productive
moments.
"Deep Work" really helps you
to integrate this thinking into your life by setting up your environment to be
distraction-free and then also helps you to create rituals that support your
creative work.
So I put the lessons that I learned
from this book right into practice with the first two courses that I ever made,
and it really allowed me to free up my time and get more intentional about
really making two of the most in-depth and time-consuming projects
of my life.
The results allowed me to make a bigger
impact and also to have a better final product in the end. I'm not sure how I
would've done this without the deliberate practice of "Deep Work."
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"Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl
This book is a favourite to so many and
for good reason. Published by Holocaust survivor and psychologist Viktor
Frankl, it was inspired by his experience as a concentration camp prisoner
during World War II.
He noticed that in these awful
circumstances, it wasn't necessarily the physically strongest who survived.
Instead, it was the people who had the strongest purpose. And so those who were able to withstand extreme suffering had some other reason, some bigger purpose to live, rather than just getting by.
This led to Frankl's hypothesis that
the search for meaning is the biggest driver of human beings and one that we
can leverage to get through even the most difficult times. Viktor writes,
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing, the last of the human
freedoms.
To choose one's attitude in any given
set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." It's an exploration of
life, death and everything in between.
And in my opinion, it's a must-read and
one that I keep coming back to over and over again. Before you go, do me one
quick favour. Head down into the comment section of this post and let me know
one book that changed your life.
As you know, one of the books I
mentioned in this post came from your recommendations, so I was hoping I might
be able to add on to my reading list, but I was also hoping we might be able to
give some inspiration to other readers as well.
Thanks so much for reading this post. Hope
to see you next time.